Welcome to my life. I am a 26 year old female working at a locally owned pet food store. I'm single, have no kids, and have nothing to show for my 26 years of life. I'm in debt and suffer from my own madness everyday. I don't know why I ended up the way I have... but I can tell you how my life went and let you decide.
1997
I was beginning second grade this year and super excited to be a "big girl." My teacher was a young, unmarried, missionary that traveled and grew up in Africa. She was someone I looked up to... we'll call her Ms. Flower. She wanted to help change the lives of children, and not just the children at my private school. Ms. Flower talked about growing up in Liberia and taught us about the difference in cultures. I particularly picked up the need to travel and the kindness in my heart from her. Little did I know, at the young age of 7, that not everyone had kindness in them. I was bullied everyday by three different people. I was called names by the bullies, they would hurt me physically, and tease me about my clothes. Everyday I would cry to my mom about how I hated my school... until one day...
1999
I was in fourth grade. I became more reserved and didn't try to be friends with my classmates... and I was still being bullied. My parents both had obligations so I would stay at school for aftercare. A kid that was two years older than me was still bullying me during that time. He decided one day he was going to pin me down and cut my arm with a plastic knife. I told a teacher and she just laughed at me. I started losing trust at the age of 9 because no one would believe my story even though I had evidence to prove it.
2000
My mom pulled my sister and I from our school. She said it was because we were behind in education there. At this point we had already been moved into our new house for a year. My mom took us to public schools in this part of town but didn't approve. She had been going to get my sister tested for learning disabilities and didn't want to put her just anywhere. Mu mom decided to homeschool us. She found out my sister is dyslexic. She spent a lot of time with her teaching her to read and write. I had workbooks that I had to fill out and she would just check that I had finished my work. At this point my only friends were my neighbor and my moms homeschool/scrapbook friends children.
2002
My mom is pregnant with my brother. We found out about the attack on the twin towers. I wasn't really sure about the world and what was going on. This is when I learned more about politics.
2004
I am 14 and a freshman in high school. My mom put us back in school and I still barely knew anyone. I am still reserved and don't know how to start conversations with strangers. I was failing all of my classes. My mom had me tested for a learning disability with my English teacher on my side. All of my other teachers doubted me and said I was failing for attention. We got my score back and I was only two points above having a disability. I was denied help in school and I thought everyone was against helping me. I was also bullied my freshman year. A senior used to spit on me every time I walked past him.
2007-2008
I barely graduate. I'm dating my first "real" boyfriend. He lived close to me and I walked to his house a lot. We played video games and he taught me how to skateboard. McDonalds was our normal hang out. I had my first real job at a shoe store. I started learning how to talk to strangers. My manager told me I was too quiet.
My boyfriend's ex girlfriend got mad at me for being in a relationship with him on Valentine's Day and kicked in all four panels of my car. My first Valentine's Day present and last time being with my boyfriend.
2009-2010
I started dating a different guy. He was completely different than the last. He cooked for me, sang to me, wrote me songs, and even went out of his way to make me happy. He bought me a ring and I was never happier. He started taking steroids. He became a gym rat. His personality changed. He started drinking more. He would force me to stay with him when I felt uncomfortable. He would break things and punch holes in walls if I tried to leave... I found out he was cheating on me and never went back.
2010-2011
I met a guy through a friend. I was living on my own. His smile and freckles made me go crazy. He played guitar for me and cooked with me. He was the calm to my past storms. He let me vent to him about my "crazy" ex. He vented to me about his "crazy" ex. We had a lot in common. He didn't have a place to live because his roommate was getting kicked out. I told him he could crash for a week....
2 months later
He became manipulative. He turned me against my family. Came up with excuses as to why he couldn't go get a job. I paid for everything. I had no phone anymore because I was so broke all the time. He was an alcoholic and not a nice one either. One night I told him not to drink my roommates beer and ten minutes later had a gun to my head for it. He turned it in to my fault and I believed it. I don't know why I ever stayed...
3 months later
My roommates hated me because of him. I managed to save enough money to move back to Memphis. We got a house together and he got a job. Things seemed to be better and we were working on communicating.
2012
We had been seeing a couples counselor. I was working a great job. He was still at the same job. Things seemed to be going well. One morning I was getting ready for work. I cleaned the house and sat on the couch before my shift at 3pm. He came home on his lunch and slammed the door. He cussed me out for not bringing up our trash can. I apologized. That wasn't enough. He through his Xbox at me and said it was my fault if it broke. He told me I was a worthless person, that I was lazy, not pretty enough, and that no one would love me like he does. I recorded the whole thing on my phone with proof of him threatening my life again. Lucky for me our landlord is a lawyer. I told him I felt unsafe and I had proof if he needed it. He apologized and told me good luck with my move. I moved out of the house within 2 hours of our argument.
2014
I am working for Starbucks. I worked my way up to running the Collierville store. I was finally dating again. 8am Thursday December 11th... I get a call that something is wrong with my mom and I need to be home. I showed up to an ambulance and everyone in my family's cars in the driveway. I find my brother in the kitchen crying. My mom was found on the ground in her bathroom. We were told we need to meet her at the hospital. When we get there they sat us in an empty room. My dad was pulled away. We all knew what happened. My mom was gone.
2015 (One month later)
My boyfriend at the time told me I needed to get over what happened. We broke up. People kept offering help that I didn't even know. I just wanted to be alone. I quit Starbucks. I helped my dad full time with my brother. I took him to school some days and picked him up everyday. I took him to practices and made him dinner. I had too much time in my head and needed to get a job to make the time go by.
2016
I started working again. I moved back out of my dads house.
2017
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